Parallel Lines

If you draw 2 Parallel Lines, they will never intersect.
So what made you think that you would ever cross me?
I don't attand church every Sunday, but what law says that Sunday is the only day I can praise?
Just because I'm not a Bible toting, scripture quoating man, does that make you betta than me?
You see, my relationship with GOD is a personal one.
I praise HIM every wake up call, every breath I breathe, every meal I eat.
What makes you the standard in which my spiritual self can exist?
You mean to tell me you never cheated in school to pass a test?
I'm not condoning this, but HE gave me permission to study on my own time.
I don't speak in the unknown tongue, for HE gave me the gift of english.
But HE speaks back thru my inner-psyche.
Now you ask yourself, "Who is this nigga?"
"I totally misjudged him!"
But who gave you the right to judge me?
We live in a world full of sin, man made sin.
But because you do what you do in the dark & go out of your way to shed light on my life, that makes your relationship with HIM better then mine?
Mortals can't lead you to the Promised Land.
Scratch that, mortals can't lead ME.
I'm not really sure what drives you.
In that cold place that you call your GOOD heart, you're only fooling yourself.
You see, it's not important whether or not I see it, 'cause HE sees all.
So go ahead, tell everyone what you did Sunday at HIS house.
Tell everyone your judgement of me.
For HE made us both of flesh.
Of the same cloth.
So you see, we ARE 2 Parallel Lines that will never cross.

Just For The Fuck Of It...

An unnecessary emptiness.  How is it that love can sparkle in your eye, but U can't see the light?
He was just a boy when he hurt you, yet you carry that torch like an Olympic gold medalist.
Must I recompense your sorrows?  Would you allow me the pleasure?
I work on my craft like no other that has laced your presence, I'm grown with this.
Now, if you lookin' for that teenage love then I'll find Slick Rick for ya.  That's the only assistance that I can provide.
I mean, wasn't he the one that hurt you in the first place?
I'm failing all of your "love tests" 'cause you give them like pop quizzes.  But this nigga is a valedictorian 'cause you gave him all the answers.
I don't get it.  "I need a man, not a boy" is all I ever hear youi screamin.
You want me to be your man on the side while you maintain your relationship with your "Boyriend".
You don't want me to love;you just want me to love you.  So when he drags you back into that miserable domain that is his existence, you can easily go back 'cause "We just fuckin' right?  I mean, I love him & he's gonna get his shit 2gether."
I know.  And even though it hurts, I don't put up a fight to stop U.  And I'll tell myself that "I'm not takin' her ass back any more!"  Just when I get U off my mind, you'll find me with a ring.
"Whatcha doin?"  "Writin." "Want some company?" "Sure."
I try to be cool, hard even.  'Cause I'm grown.  And I know that lil' boy has hurt you again.  As soon as U walk through the door, BAM, we go at it.  Now I'm cryin on the outside, and I'm dyin on the inside 'cause I love you.
But you don't want me to love;U just want me to love U.  Now as our bodies intertwine into a savage dance of lust, you scream out with all your heart "OH RON!"
I keep going.  Even though I'm Derrick.  'Cause we're just just fuckin, right?  Boys cry.  Men lie.  So I must finally be leaving that day care center.  Because my lying about my love for U has led to me crying for you love for me that I can never have.
Because you love boys.  And I'm your man........Just for the fuck of it......

Sheet Talk...

"Say yes" like those chicks from Floetry
Whisper in your ear to let you know it's me
Girl you got me "Feenin" like Jodeci...
Keep your spot hot cuz of how I talk
Got you curious cuz of how I walk
Make you feel like you wanna lick my beanstalk...
Cummin on strong cuz I'm a sexual being
Caress your heart now luv you believe in
Look deeply into my eyes so you can see in...
Into a world where you heart pounds like tick-tock
As comfortable as pedicured toes inside of flip flops
Where you climb on top so that I can taste every drip...drop...
Size doesn't matter cuz I'm pounding your intellect
Didn't know just from talking I could get your panties wet
"Make it last forever" like you're listening to Keith Sweat...
Hittin it from the back til we both fall
Feelin like a baby cuz now you wanna crawl
Never felt a D cum so hard in your Luv...Hall...
Flicker my tongue fast and slow
Lick your body from head to toe
DAMN you taste good make a brotha want mo' & mo'...
Used to think I was a freak just because of my sign
I told you in the beginning I would take my time
Tattooed my chocolate name on your butterscotch spine...
  I luv the taste of your sun-dried flesh
From now on you don't have to settle for less
Cuz when it comes to this sheet talk, baby, you're rockin with the best...

Rememberance

Behind your heart lies a soul that only you know.  Letting anyone in can be dangerous, but that's the only way you know how to love.  You search for a feeling of desire, only to find heartache.

"Seasons change, people don't!"  That's what you've lived by.  But as the leaves fall & the wind changes, you have a new found happiness.  Silly giggles fill every conversation as you forgot about past pains.  You're remembering love, and all it's wondrous splendor.

Old habits become new discoveries, long days turn into short nights.  You've waited for this moment for what feels like an eternity, now you're dazed by passion.

Her scent fills your every breath.  The warmth of his body caresses you thru the night.  Love is no longer a fear.  Now is it an option.  Your heart has opened up & your soul is dancing.

But there is no music.  Only the pounding of your heart when you hear their voice.  And as you take a deeper look, their soul is dancing with yours.  And at that moment, you remember, Love.....

Where have I been?

The number 1 question on most peoples minds have been just that.  Well, I've been taking time to reflect of life, as I know it.  You know how you have a plan, and it just doesn't go the way you expect it?  How to react to that is exactly what I've been dealing with.  I forgot how important I am to ME.  The best lessons are the ones that you learn thru failure.  My career path is not the one that I'm supposed to be on.  However, I haven't taken the proper strides to get to where I truly belong.  I've stalled at the gates, if you will.  I do feel good about the fact that I have gotten more focused on my poetry book, that I WILL complete.  But that's another story.

No matter what you do, if you put forth half-ass efforts you will always get half-ass results.  I think back to the days where I would get angry at the drop of a hat, and it was nothing for me to explode on whoever was around.  I took a stance & decided to change that aspect of my life.  You've heard me say time and time again that I stick to myself.  However, during that process I would think of/and do nothing.  I just felt like, in due time this will pass.  This time, I decided to be more open to changing that.  Maybe I didn't talk about what was really in my head, but I did talk.  I still read.  And I still wrote.  I even mustered up the strength to do some research on what my true profession should and will be.  I'm not supposed to be verifying whether or not cables and poles are placed correctly in a database...I'm supposed to be a Sports Agent.  When I began that journey, I was wide open.  I wouldn't even allow the thought of failure to enter my mind.  But, such as life, I reached a point where I had to take a break from my classes and thus, lost momentum.  There are a few people who actually knows about this desire.  However, no one ever thought to ask me when I was hopping back on that train.  But leave it to my father to jump right in, feet first, and remind me of all my aspirations that I had.  That I have.  Sure, the economy has had somewhat of an effect on how I've approached this goal.  But that excuse can no longer be my crutch.  If that's what I want to do, then I need to get back on that horse and ride it into the sunset.  How dare I try to inspire my kids to reach for the stars when I'm still sitting here not doing the same.  That won't be the case anymore.

So, where have I been you ask?  Well, I've been right here all along.  I'm never going away.  Just refocused.  I may not be the man that I want to be, but I'm a better man than I was yesterday.  And I strive to be a better man tomorrow.  I live for you...I do for you...but I can only be me...here is where I'll always be.

Only the strong

Pride can be a beast.  I recently encountered my own spell.  Being locked up in the house for about a week can really work the mind.  And of course, due to my stubborness, I decided to keep my issues to myself.  Well, my head has been hurting since Tuesday.  I still can't seem to put a finger on why it happened, but it did.  And as I write this blog, I still feel a little woosy.  I haven't been eating, reading, writing, or going to the gym.  I tried to stay away from work, but then I gave it a go on Thursday and paid the price.  Even going to the Bobcat game didn't seem to help. 

I don't know how to reach out sometimes and say that I need "help".  My pride won't let me.  I usually know what's causing my issues, but this time was different.  And while I've tried to figure it out, I resorted to my usual stance of going at it on my own.  I won't get too deep into why, but Saturday I started to turn it around.  Asking for assistance isn't a bad thing.  It's just not something that I'm accustomed to doing.  It always feel like I'm placing my burdens on someone else's shoulders.  That's not my purpose in life.  That's not why I'm here.  I try to provide the strength that others need.  How can I do that when I'm not at full strength?  And because of my pride, how would you know when I'm not?  I hear it all..."you can't be there for everybody...you're human too...you let things consume you..."  And as much as I hate to admit it, those people who tell me that are right (don't tell them I said that). 

I'm still the same soldier that I've always been.  Just had a little chink in my armor.  But I'm not going anywhere.  I'll distance myself from everyone from time to time.  But that doesn't mean that I've jumped ship.  I just need to recharge my batteries.  I just need to catch my breath.  Because of that, I continue to carry my pride like a championship banner.  I just wish that it would allow me to allow you in sometimes...Still growing everyday. 

Never stop (Exotic Short)

You lovin my style just like I'm lovin your smile/got you contemplating cuz you aint had my love in a while
Touch the spot I know that you like/take a nibble although you like when I bite
Got you smitten from the stroke of your kitten/never forgetten you diggin me cuz it was written
This is some grown shit, forget the daycare/touch my own shit, you know that I play fair
Tokin you up, smokin you up/we keep it hot girl, you know I love soakin you up
Calming my soul - you move me, always consumes me
Your innocence is precious, continues to rule me
Take my hand, guide it to your cherry blossom/kissin and & lickin til I reach the very bottom
They say I'm a freak, but you see the truth/I'm just a cat that has a strong sweet tooth
So when you feel that urge in the middle of the night/look me up cuz you know I be keepin it tight/keepin it write...