Sunday, October 31, 2010

Only the strong

Pride can be a beast.  I recently encountered my own spell.  Being locked up in the house for about a week can really work the mind.  And of course, due to my stubborness, I decided to keep my issues to myself.  Well, my head has been hurting since Tuesday.  I still can't seem to put a finger on why it happened, but it did.  And as I write this blog, I still feel a little woosy.  I haven't been eating, reading, writing, or going to the gym.  I tried to stay away from work, but then I gave it a go on Thursday and paid the price.  Even going to the Bobcat game didn't seem to help. 

I don't know how to reach out sometimes and say that I need "help".  My pride won't let me.  I usually know what's causing my issues, but this time was different.  And while I've tried to figure it out, I resorted to my usual stance of going at it on my own.  I won't get too deep into why, but Saturday I started to turn it around.  Asking for assistance isn't a bad thing.  It's just not something that I'm accustomed to doing.  It always feel like I'm placing my burdens on someone else's shoulders.  That's not my purpose in life.  That's not why I'm here.  I try to provide the strength that others need.  How can I do that when I'm not at full strength?  And because of my pride, how would you know when I'm not?  I hear it all..."you can't be there for're human let things consume you..."  And as much as I hate to admit it, those people who tell me that are right (don't tell them I said that). 

I'm still the same soldier that I've always been.  Just had a little chink in my armor.  But I'm not going anywhere.  I'll distance myself from everyone from time to time.  But that doesn't mean that I've jumped ship.  I just need to recharge my batteries.  I just need to catch my breath.  Because of that, I continue to carry my pride like a championship banner.  I just wish that it would allow me to allow you in sometimes...Still growing everyday. 

Monday, October 11, 2010

Never stop (Exotic Short)

You lovin my style just like I'm lovin your smile/got you contemplating cuz you aint had my love in a while
Touch the spot I know that you like/take a nibble although you like when I bite
Got you smitten from the stroke of your kitten/never forgetten you diggin me cuz it was written
This is some grown shit, forget the daycare/touch my own shit, you know that I play fair
Tokin you up, smokin you up/we keep it hot girl, you know I love soakin you up
Calming my soul - you move me, always consumes me
Your innocence is precious, continues to rule me
Take my hand, guide it to your cherry blossom/kissin and & lickin til I reach the very bottom
They say I'm a freak, but you see the truth/I'm just a cat that has a strong sweet tooth
So when you feel that urge in the middle of the night/look me up cuz you know I be keepin it tight/keepin it write...