Why?

This is always the question that is asked when things don't go your way.  By no means do I claim to be perfect, but there are things that I try to control and they just don't seem to work out.  I juggle my insanity with 3 balls of hope.  I tend to believe in people more than they believe in themselves.  Maybe it's because I believe that I can make everything alright.  Maybe it's because I've seen the worst in people and I know that everyone is not like that.  I live in darkness, but it's mostly by choice.  I've been called evil, yet those close to me know that is not the case.  I'm not going to sit here and claim to be the best person on the planet, but I strive to be a great friend.  Why?  Because I believe that's what I was put here for. 

What makes you mad might make me laugh.  I can't explain that one.  But one thing that I've learned is that everything is not meant to be explained.  In some cases, I search for it anyway.  But to no avail.  When things are spinning out of control, sometimes it's just best to let it ride it's way out.  The roller coaster of life has peaks and valleys.  The ride can be fun at times.  But there are also moments when it can scare the living shit out of you.  How you handle that can and will define you.  Adversity has always taught me a lesson.  I may not have liked all of them, but I learned none the less.  Why?  Because we all serve a different purpose.

You can wander through a world of infinite sorrow, but everyone sees the sun from time to time.  How else can you explain that shadow that you cast over your aches and pains?  When you can see a smile in the darkest of moments, there isn't always a why...just a thank you.  And that's when you know that you've done something meaningful.  That's the answer to "why do I feel this way"...And at that moment, you never wonder why again...